from the time you are old enough to understand “evangelism” in the Southern Baptist Church – you learn or get the impression, right or wrong, that it is up to you to “complete the sale” or the “blood in on your hands”.

if this sounds like jiberish to you – that’s probably good. essentially, if you do not go out and share your faith with people and they die not knowing and go to hell – it’s all your fault. their blood is on your hands. you and you alone are responsible for their eternal torment.

now don’t get me wrong… if your faith is that important to you – then it’s worth sharing. and if it makes that much difference in life, it’s our privilege to live it and share it. but as Christians, we also realize that God has given everyone a choice whether to follow Him or not – right??? (depending on if your stance is more towards Calvinism or Arminianism, you could answer that either way).

so to my story…

i had the opportunity to sit with a friend and wonderful patient of hers, whose has a terrible disease (Lou Gehrig‘s disease, or medically termed “Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis“). This cool lady asked my friend if she knew of someone she could talk to because she wanted to make peace with God before she leaves this world. as nervous and scarred as i was, i had the opportunity to spend about a couple of hours with her one night – listening to her stories of life, her questions of the future, her funny jokes, her struggles, her catholic backround, her belief in God, he anger with all this, her hope their is a reason for all this and her fears.

i guess where i’m getting to is this: we didn’t go over the four spiritual laws… she didn’t pray the prayer before i left… i don’t know where she truly stands with Jesus (although she did express and share of her belief in God)… but no completion of the evangelical sale was made…

so, did i fail? is her eternal blood on my hands because i didn’t lead her through the Roman Road or pray through a tract? where does God come in when it comes to drawing people to Him – is it in our hands or His? is it really my job to determine if she’s right with God or not?  is her expression of belief in God enough for Him? what is God’s responsibility in all this?

if those questions sound flippant… there was a time when they would have been. but they are not now… in the Bible it talks about how we plant and water, but it is God who makes it grow – and that wasn’t just a metaphor for plants and crops… but I think for people too. but the whole “blood on my hands” and my responsibility stuff comes flooding back. and this faith in God and Jesus thing is so important to me.

i believe whole-heartedly that i was blessed and honered to get to spend time with this lady and my friend – talking about something that i love and that is my life… Jesus. i shared why i follow Him and what a mess my life was and would be without Him. i shared how little hope i’d have for my past present and future without it… because that is the whole truth. my life revolves around it – and it is my whole life. it’s who i am…

my friend told me that this sweet lady loved our time together and that that is the most peacefully she has slept in so long. does that mean anything, i don’t know… but i am choosing to truly believe that God has a role in the whole thing and that it is truly between her and Him in the end… as it is with all of us.

i’m glad i got to listen and to serve this lady… it was an honor.

honestly… thoughts? this is a true wondering – not a slam on church or the southern baptists or the four spiritual laws thing… just a “where do we come in and where does God come in”? how responsible are we as apposed to God’s role in it all?

p.s. – here is a video from the comedian Penn Jillette – talking about a guy who gave him a bible and how he showed real care for him – and how if truly is this important to us, that we must hate people if we don’t share.

thoughts on this too?

One Response to “did i fail?”

1. Brad
   July 14th, 2009 @ 3:59 am

   Hey Chris,
   I certainly feel the tension from your thoughts on evangelism. I’d don’t want to ever miss an opportunity to ask a person to make that all important decision, but I also note in the scriptures that Jesus never lays out a clear gospel presentation–nothing similar to 4 Spiritual Laws or the Bridge illustration or the common “sinners prayer”. It is in deed something that the Spirit must do in a person’s heart and they must respond to that. There’s no formula I know of other than a yeildedness to what the Spirit is telling you to do at the time.

   For the only cause that matters,
   Brad

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