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“Someone who Understands” – New XXXChurch.com Article
Jan 13th

- Image by el clinto via Flickr
Here is my current article on the XXXChurch called “Someone who Understands”. It’s under the Couple’s section of the blog. Or you can just read it below…
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Someone Who Understands
My wife and I have a 19-month-old boy.
He is just starting the throwing tantrums and taking swings at people stage, and gets really frustrated when he doesn’t get what he wants. Man it sucks when he throws a tantrum or takes a swing at you. And it’s even more embarrassing when it happens in public. We love him so much, but it’s still a bummer part of this stage.
So we got to talking with another Mom of a toddler in our church. And she started talking about how her daughter was doing some of the very same things our boy was doing.
And there it was…
Someone who understands.
Someone who knows what you are going through.
And that’s what we need… at least someone who has been in your shoes. Someone who has felt and experienced what you have thought, felt and been through.
And it got me thinking about all of this too…
But not just for those of us who struggle with porn and sexual vices. No, there are also those who are affected because of us – who don’t feel like anyone understands. I’ve been grateful for a few of the wives/girlfriends who have been honest enough with us to say, “I don’t feel like anyone understands what I am going through, and what we are going through together. I feel like all of my friends have husbands/boyfriends who don’t struggle. Or at least they don’t talk about it.”
You want to know that someone understands.
That someone has been there… or is there.
You want to know there is hope. There is light amidst the dark.
That you are not the only one who has ever experienced this…
… that you are not alone.
We’re out there. Find someone who can walk with you. Find people, who are or have been there. I promise others are out there. There are others like us. Not everyone hides their stuff. And if they don’t have stuff in this area, I bet they can at least understand what it’s like to struggle with something – if not point you in the direction of someone who does understand. And if they don’t understand or don’t struggle with anything… um, sure!
Glad to be part of a community here that understands…
… it’s nice to not be alone.
Don’t struggle in silence. I don’t believe God ever intended us to struggle in silence and isolation.
We’re here…
HE is here.
Related articles by Zemanta
- Steps: Asking for Forgivness (brokenbole.com)
- My new XXXChurch.com article… “Let’s be honest… We aren’t happy or fulfilled” (brokenbole.com)
- Fighting Porn Addiction…Online? (blogs.wsj.com)
presenting… the CHRIST-mas Tree
Dec 21st
Not sure what else to say about this… really, the CHRIST-mas Tree?
Am I crazy – or is this really a good idea and a great way to express our faith in Christ? Is this what puts Christ into Christmas? Maybe seeing it every time does keep you focused on Jesus…? Or maybe…?
Got one headed your way Joshua!
*** P.S. – Here’s the Original Post, by Chris Monty of Blippitt.com, where I first saw this at:
WWJD? Buy A CHRIST-Mas Tree
Posted by Chris Monty on December 16th 2009
What do you do when people insist on saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas“?
You go out and buy a CHRIST-mas Tree of course!
Boss Creations, which is a new holiday decor company, has debuted the new CHRIST-mas Tree, which features a trunk in the shape of a wooden cross.
Company owner Marsha Boggs says the tree was created specifically to battle the “war on Christmas.”
“When I became a Christian a few years ago,” says Boggs, “I was appalled by the secularization of the Christmas holiday. When retail stores started substituting ‘Happy Holidays’ for ‘Merry Christmas,’ and schools began calling their Christmas programs ‘Winter Plays,’ it all seemed ridiculous to me. That’s why we have created products that remind people what the Christmas season is really all about – the birth of Christ.”
The CHRIST-mas Tree is size adjustable and can be up to 7.5 feet tall in order to accommodate various ceiling sizes.
What do you think of the CHRIST-mas tree? It’s a little bit over-the-top for me.
Where do you start when sharing your story…?
Nov 12th

- Image by Rennett Stowe via Flickr
When you share your story (if you ever do) with others… where do you start?
Do you begin with childhood? Or you’re favorite memory? Or you’re darkest moment? Or somewhere else?
Now, thinking about those who are Christians reading this… where do you start your story (or testimony for those in the older generation
…)?
The reason I ask is because I had a great conversation with Pieter here at YFC and he said something about our stories that made me think.
Why do we always start our stories/testimonies with the bad part (ex: God saved me from drugs, alcohol addiction, sexual addiction, depression, bad times, etc…). That is a big piece if that is truly where God met us, but what did God do yesterday? last week? the last year? the last five years? or so on? If we can’t see how God has made a difference yesterday, then has it been a life change and life relationship – or is it just fire insurance that helped you behave better for awhile. Not minimizing change, getting out of a bad situation and all that – just does your relationship go beyond that to include your whole life? (paraphrase)
I know my story always seems to start with all my crap and things I’ve done wrong… it got me thinking.
You’re thoughts?
My new XXXChurch.com article… “Let’s be honest… We aren’t happy or fulfilled”
Nov 10th
My new XXXChurch.com article… “Let’s be honest… We aren’t happy or fulfilled”.
Category: Pastors
LET’S BE HONEST
By Chris Kozacek on Mon, Nov 9th 09 at 09:21PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Week after week you hope to come up with a profound and griping post to submit to be placed on here…
But how often do we truly sit down and think about our story – The ups and downs of battle with pornography addiction.
How often do we step back…
…and realize the impact of our choices.
But don’t stop with looking at it in a “I should behave better” way, but go beyond to look at it in a holistic way. Go beyond the explanation of “just another bad night” or “I don’t have a problem, it doesn’t happen that often” or “I’m human, not Jesus”…
…to “why is the part of my life?”
Let’s be honest – it’s fun while it lasts (we wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t – we like looking at stuff). But it always ends, and we aren’t happy or fulfilled. You know that’s true…
You ask, “how did I get here?”, “I know better, why doesn’t that stop me?”, “What hole is it filling in my heart and mind? “
Now step back – Do you see the face, and heart, of… —READ MORE—
Links:
brokenbole now on tumblr too – “brokenbole @ tumblr”
Nov 9th

- Image via CrunchBase
There are times that I want to post a quick thought, video or quote that is too long for Twitter, but not long or expansive enough for a blog post.
So I signed up for a Tumblr account and have tied it into the Blog here, on the right side just under the Twitter feed. I also tied it into my Twitter feed.
So even though there may not be any new blog posts, there might be new shorter posts/thoughts/music videos that have been pulled in from “brokenbole @ tumblr”!
Tumblr address: http://brokenbole.tumblr.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/brokenbole
Steps: Asking for Forgivness
Oct 20th
Here’s my new post for XXXChurch.com
Steps: Asking For Forgiveness
As I mentioned in my last post “When Your Secrets are Revealed…,” – I wanted to take a few looks at the practical things that might come out of it, in no particular order.
The questions that always come up (including the ones I asked) when talking about asking for forgiveness from those affected by our sin are:
-“What if they won’t forgive me?”
-“I didn’t do anything that bad, did I?”
-“Won’t bringing it back up just create more problems or conflict?”
-“I don’t know how to find them, so what should I do?”
-“They won’t even talk to me, so how can I ever try?”
-“They ruined my life by heaping all sorts of judgment and public condemnation on me and wouldn’t show me any mercy, so why should I ask for their forgiveness?”
-“It’s not like my struggle with porn ever really affected anyone else, what am I asking for forgiveness for?”
-“I’m scared to go to them, how do I even start?”These are just a sample of questions I have either heard, or thought myself. Some are questions out of fear, some out of pride, and some are just not sure where to start.
It is never easy to go and ask for forgiveness from others – especially when… - read more
Links:
- XXXChurch.com Blog
– Every Man’s Battle Blog
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- “When your secrets are revealed” – XXXChurch Blog (brokenbole.com)
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- Understanding doesn’t result forgiveness (mgccl.com)
- Behaviours That Build And Behaviours That Destroy (pastorpaulvbsblog.blogspot.com)
- Awkward Moments Unlimited (24hourparadigm.com)
Foundation for a Better Life…
Sep 30th
I may be a geek, but i really enjoy the commercial ads put out by the “Foundation for a Better Life”. Maybe they are unrealistic, but I think they are pretty well done, and I like the message. Here are my 3 favorites:
“Locker” – a video about Character.
“Cafeteria” – a video about Reaching Out
A video about “Compassion”
“When your secrets are revealed” – XXXChurch Blog
Sep 15th

- Image via Wikipedia
Here’s a link to my second article on the XXXChurch.com blog and Every Man’s Battle website. This one was placed under the Pastor’s section of the blog.
Click below to view the “When your secrets are revealed” article –
Thank you all for you thoughts, comments and encouragement with all this. I’m excited to be writing, but it’s a little scary being so vulnerable…
*** I’d also like to thank my wife Corrie, and currently my other 3 editors – Jeremy, Brandon and Cory. They are such a help in editing and asking questions about each article that is posted… before it is posted. Thank you so much!
Grace For The Journey
Aug 29th
My first published article on XXXChurch.com and the Every Man’s Battle website:
Posted using ShareThis
should Christians always forgive?
Aug 12th

- Image via Wikipedia
we know many of the verses:
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22)
or -
3So watch yourselves. “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” (Luke 17:3-4)
or -
12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)
but are there some things we just can’t forgive?
it’s easier to put things behind us like hurt feelings, mis-communications, petty fights, a few bumps or bruises caused by others… but what happens when something affects you in a much greater capacity?
- What if you are directly or indirectly affected by marital infidelity, pornography, rape, incest, premarital sex or sexual abuse? What about murder or accidental death? How about physical or emotional abuse?
- What if drugs or alcohol take over your life or if you are affected by the actions of someone else who this is affecting?
- How about if you are directly or indirectly affected by dishonesty, slander, a bad breakup, divorce, a power play, getting fired for a good or no-good reason, having something stolen from you… this list goes on.
Are we really called to forgive those that do those things to us or those we care about? Is there a difference between forgiving and forgetting? Are we called to forget too? Is it even possible to forget, let alone forgive? And where do natural consequences come in for the things we do to others or have been done to us? Forgiveness doesn’t change the natural consequences does it? it doesn’t make everything ok, or say it’s no big deal what happened does it?
if you’re confused by the post… good, i am too. here’s where i am coming from on this. currently i am on the side of asking for forgiveness from people i have directly or indirectly hurt in the past. and i am wondering where the line is between reality and a good idea. do these people really need to forgive me? should they even? what are my expectations of it, or do i have none knowing what i deserve? what do i believe is right and what God says about forgiveness, sin and grace?
and then after running past a couple of stories this weekend of cheating (baseball player josh hamilton in particular, whom i am a big fan of), rape (a friends story) and murder (always stories of this i guess, and many other crimes) – it made me wonder where we really stand in between…
… what should we do, and we can we or believe we should do?
i know what i think i should do… i know what i think i wish others would extend to me… i know what Jesus tells us to do and what he modeled…
but can and will it be done in our lives in practice and not just theory…
can i do it when faced with a situation…
what do you think?
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- Child Abuse: An Overview (counselingonlinesite.com)
- Devotional – Kingdom Recycling (pastorpaulvbsblog.blogspot.com)

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